When every day has tears....

I have cried every day since February 18. For so many reasons I have cried; sadness that our little girl was diagnosed with a fatal chromosome disorder, having to meet with a funeral director instead of picking out paint colors for Reagan's room, knowing that our Christmas card probably won't be a picture of Reagan sitting on Santas' lap, and realizing that the firsts we want to celebrate with her we may not be given the chance. Then there are days that my tears are tears of joy. The day when our small group laid hands on us and prayed for Reagan, the day when we went to a healing prayer service at Riverstone church and that the musicians played our favorite song. We were also given a watercolor painting of Reagan praising God in my womb. What a joy is it to imagine our child praising our Glorious and Sovereign Lord. The tears even came yesterday at church when we were singing 'How Great is Our God' knowing that our wonderful God is listening to our prayers and the prayers said on Reagan's behalf. Knowing and trusting that the Lord Our God has an amazing plan for us...

"Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He shall direct your paths." Proverbs 3:5-6

Seeing our little Reagan on the big screen-24 weeks

It's been a month, a really long month, since we've seen Reagan on an ultrasound. I have felt her moving around quite a bit in the past several days, so I knew that she was doing fine. Still there was something just so relieving seeing and hearing her heartbeat and seeing her move around. That little girl of ours can't be still. I cherish each movement I feel, even the ones at 3am. Reagan is growing, that is evident by the size of my expanding tummy. She's still measuring a couple of weeks behind and we can still see that her heart has a VSD (Ventricular septal defect, a hole in the wall that separates the right and left ventricles of the heart). The miracle that we've been praying for that God would heal her here on earth hasn't happened, but we still have hope that it will. Meanwhile, God gives us little miracles; feeling her kick, giving us another day with her, seeing that she is growing. I am thankful that God trusted us to protect her and love her.

"I will praise you, O Lord, with all my heart; I will tell of all your wonders. I will be glad and rejoice in you; I will sing praise to your name, O Most High." Psalm 9:1-2