Sunday, March 28, 2010

James 5:14

"Is any one of you sick? He should call the elders of the church to pray over him and anoint him with oil in the name of the Lord."

Today my husband, Reagan and I had the pleasure of being prayed over and anointed with oil by the elders of Dunwoody Community Church. Over the past couple of months we have been prayed over by our wonderful small group and by a healing prayer group at another church. Each time has been special and a blessing in it's own unique way. To have our elders, who we put such trust in, those that listen and follow God to now follow the words of Jesus as it is written in James.
The prayer of each elder strengthened us, warmed us and brought us renewed hope.

We were also reminded of God's creation, Elder Bob brought in a Camellia flower, bright pink with brilliant green leaves, God's beauty in nature. Bob said how each living thing that God creates is perfect. Whether it's a flower, or an infant in the womb, it's all God's perfect creation.

I praise you, so wonderfully you made me; wonderful are your works! Psalm 139:13-14

Although it's hard to always remember, but it brings such peace that God has everything under control. He doesn't need my help and it actually makes it easier for me if I just let go and let God.

Saturday, March 27, 2010

A lovely day

Three weeks ago I was worried that Reagan wouldn't make it to today. Thank you God, for not just another day with Reagan, but the twenty eight days since Reagan's diagnoses. In my search online for support with Trisomy 18, I found out about a great program called, Now I Lay Me Down to Sleep.
I contacted one of their photographers, Oana Hogrefe, to set up a maternity photo shoot. I spent the last week praying for good weather. God answered my prayer. It was sunny and beautiful. Our good friend, David, let us use his backyard. He has spent several years building waterfalls, and gardens, it's a true escape.
We just had a fabulous time being photographed. I truly enjoyed being able to capture this time in our lives, now 6 months pregnant. Besides what other time can a girl get her picture taken without her sucking in her tummy.
Oana is so very talented, always checking for the best lighting and best place for her to take the shot. Very creative too! Check out her work and you will see what I mean,
Thanks Oana for making today such a great memory. We are blessed to know you.

Beauty... is the shadow of God on the universe ~Gabriela Mistral

Friday, March 26, 2010

Gliding away into Peaceville

When I was much younger and we used to visit Grandma and Grandpa Bouslog, we would sit outside on their glider. The glider was a combination of green and rust colored metal and it was either freeze your buns cold or burn your buns hot. Of course my feet couldn't touch the floor so it was up to an adult to make sure it would glide, back and forth. I just loved it. I am sure in my mom's pile of pictures we could find a picture of me sitting on it. There are lots of things I remember about visiting my Grandparents, but remembering the times on the glider brings back such great memories.

A couple of months ago (before Reagan's diagnoses) when my friend, Kristine and I were at Baby's R Us, she was showing me what I should register for; the must haves. I was feeling quite overwhelmed until we came upon the row of gliders, happiness sank in. I was thankful that they didn't have any metal green gliders, but ones made of wood with comfy cushions. There are even pockets to stash stuff, so when I lose my iphone, remind me to look there. Since my legs still seem to dangle depending on where I sit, there's an ottoman, so I will be able to operate the glider back and forth myself. I felt like Goldie Locks testing each one out until I could find the one that was just right.

Then came along the unpleasant chapter in my fairy tale, Reagan's Trisomy 18 diagnoses. Struggling to find peace and tranquility, I decided that I wanted to go ahead and purchase a glider. I had recalled the peace that I felt when I sat in the glider at the store and when I was a child at Grandma's and knew that I wanted to create that peace while sitting in Reagan's room. Kristine knew that I need that peace too and to our surprise she and our small group gave Bob and I the glider I had picked out. Their generosity and thoughtfulness warms my heart. I give thanks to them every time I sit in the glider. We are also thankful there were only six bolts needed for a quick and easy assembly. I hope they know the peace it brings to me, rocking my baby, reading to her, praying for her. Having hope that one I will do all those same things but, have her in my arms instead.

If one falls down,
his friend can help him up. Eccl. 4:10

Monday, March 22, 2010

When every day has tears....

I have cried every day since February 18. For so many reasons I have cried; sadness that our little girl was diagnosed with a fatal chromosome disorder, having to meet with a funeral director instead of picking out paint colors for Reagan's room, knowing that our Christmas card probably won't be a picture of Reagan sitting on Santas' lap, and realizing that the firsts we want to celebrate with her we may not be given the chance. Then there are days that my tears are tears of joy. The day when our small group laid hands on us and prayed for Reagan, the day when we went to a healing prayer service at Riverstone church and that the musicians played our favorite song. We were also given a watercolor painting of Reagan praising God in my womb. What a joy is it to imagine our child praising our Glorious and Sovereign Lord. The tears even came yesterday at church when we were singing 'How Great is Our God' knowing that our wonderful God is listening to our prayers and the prayers said on Reagan's behalf. Knowing and trusting that the Lord Our God has an amazing plan for us...

"Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He shall direct your paths." Proverbs 3:5-6

Friday, March 19, 2010

Seeing our little Reagan on the big screen-24 weeks

It's been a month, a really long month, since we've seen Reagan on an ultrasound. I have felt her moving around quite a bit in the past several days, so I knew that she was doing fine. Still there was something just so relieving seeing and hearing her heartbeat and seeing her move around. That little girl of ours can't be still. I cherish each movement I feel, even the ones at 3am. Reagan is growing, that is evident by the size of my expanding tummy. She's still measuring a couple of weeks behind and we can still see that her heart has a VSD (Ventricular septal defect, a hole in the wall that separates the right and left ventricles of the heart). The miracle that we've been praying for that God would heal her here on earth hasn't happened, but we still have hope that it will. Meanwhile, God gives us little miracles; feeling her kick, giving us another day with her, seeing that she is growing. I am thankful that God trusted us to protect her and love her.

"I will praise you, O Lord, with all my heart; I will tell of all your wonders. I will be glad and rejoice in you; I will sing praise to your name, O Most High." Psalm 9:1-2